extra credit: self development book review

report:

The book I chose is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

I've read this book 3 times, 2 of them being in high school, and one being recently for this book report. I truly believe that this book changed the way that I communicate with my coworkers, peers, and friends. Every time I had a conversation with a mentor, a salesperson, or someone that is in a role that relies heavily on communication. This book was first published in 1936 and focuses on the importance of communication, understanding, empathy, and learning how to take on a genuine interest in other people's lives. By doing this, you can build and develop efficiency by sharing your ideas and thoughts with others.

One of the most important topics that Carnegie reveals in the book is that fundamentally, people crave attention and recognition from others. Human beings are naturally social people, and have an innate desire to hear positive affirmations from others. Carnegie teaches people how to give genuine compliments and praise to others, because it's a skill that can be used in many scenarios. Typically, people tend to focus on their own needs and wants, so learning this will help individuals learn how to praise others, understand other people's perspectives and mindsets, and help others around you feel valued. In turn, these will result in deeper, more meaningful relationships. Carnegie argues that most people tend to focus more on their own needs rather than truly paying attention to others.

Carnegie highlights 6 ways to make people like you. The first one is to become genuinely interested in other people. Show sincere curiosity about others' lives, interests, and passions, as people enjoy feeling valued. Genuine interest strengthens connections by making interactions feel meaningful. The second one is to smile. Carnegie describes that a warm and genuine smile conveys friendliness and makes you more approachable. It leaves a positive impression and encourages others to respond in kind. The third one is to remember that a person's name is the sweetest sound to themselves. Using someone's name in conversation shows respect and makes them feel acknowledged. It builds rapport by reinforcing the personal connection. The fourth way to make people like you is to be a good listener. This also includes encouraging people to talk about themselves, too. People enjoy conversations where they feel heard and understood. By listening actively, you create a positive association with yourself in their mind. The fifth way is to talk in therms of other people's interests. Tailoring conversations to align with the other person’s passions keeps them engaged. This signals to others that you value their perspective and strengthens mutual understanding. The last point is to make the other person feel important, and you need to do this as genuinely as possible. Acknowledge others' value through genuine appreciation and recognition. If someone detects that you're being insincere, this can severely backfire.

Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People isn’t just some old-school guide about making friends, but it’s really about building meaningful relationships and getting better at communicating with people. Carnegie’s advice revolves around empathy, kindness, and understanding, which are still super relevant, even though a few parts might feel a little outdated in today’s fast-moving, digital world. The key message stays the same: people want to feel seen, appreciated, and respected, and if you can give that to others in a genuine way, you’ll end up doing well in both your personal and professional life.

personal takeaway:

The book made me seriously rethink how I show up in conversations. As someone who loves talking, maybe a bit too much, and gets excited to share my thoughts, I realized I might be missing chances to connect better with my peers, coworkers, and family all by not listening enough. His advice about making others feel important really hit home for me, personally. It was a bit humbling to admit that sometimes, my enthusiasm can overpower a conversation, but reading this book and becoming aware of it feels like I'm taking a good first step toward building stronger relationships. It’s not about faking kindness, but rather about being intentional with how you show up for people. My biggest takeaway from the book is that I don’t always have to fill every silence. Sometimes, the most meaningful thing I can do is just listen, even when my brain is full with things I want to say.